.......February 23rd, 2010.
I had been feeling ill the days leading up to that Tuesday evening but pushed it off as getting sick again. For the entire month of January and some of December, both Shannon and I had been sick. I had a really bad sinus infection in January and I was positive that it was returning. I called my doctor early that morning to set up an appointment because the day before I got really sick after eating. There wasn't anything available until later that evening. Shannon went with me that evening (which was fairly common) and my doctor went through the usual questions. Based on what I had told him, he didn't feel I was sick with the same thing again. He randomly asked "When was the first day of your last period?" I told him it was the beginning of December. I also told him that I had very irregular periods and I had been feeling "crampy" on and off for the past couple weeks and was for sure I would start soon.
He asked if I could be pregnant and I immediately told him NO. He checked a few more things and then insisted on doing a pregnancy test before doing any blood work. I actually started to get mad. Shannon and I had been trying for several years at this point to have a baby and I knew (or so I thought) that it was impossible to be pregnant due to fertility issues. I peed in a cup and returned back to the room with Shannon. At this point I was so upset. It was frustrating peeing in a cup or on a stick so many times and it always being NEGATIVE...It really starts to mess with you physcologically.
Shannon and I got married in November 2006 and "officially" started trying for a baby in April 2007. Due to irregularities with my cycle, we had no luck getting pregnant on our own (as far as we know). I even went through three rounds of fertility in 2008/2009 to try to help things along. In the summer of 2009 both Shannon and I decided to take an "indefinite" break from trying. It was a constant stress in our lives and we needed a long term break from it. We both took on the challenge of going back to school full time in August 2009. We stopped "actively" trying and started to explore the idea of adopting. Even though the idea of adoption was on our minds, we were still very much focused on school.
Fast forward back to February 23rd...I remember telling Shannon how hard everything was on me and that I hated having to do pregnancy test at doctor appointments. It was like a blow to the stomach every time I had to do a test and it came back negative. I hated that each doctor would suspect that and give me this "false sense of hope" each time.
I'll never forget the look on my doctors face when he walked back into the room. He had the hugest grin on his face and said "I guess you were wrong". At first, I thought he was just joking and almost poking fun at me. But at some point I realized he was being serious and that's when both Shannon and I looked at each other in disbelief. Was this really possible? Was I really PREGNANT?! Tears instantly streamed down our faces. We couldn't believe it. I'll never forget how happy we were and at the same time, how scared we were. It was one of the happiest moments of our lives.
Today my sweet boy is 28 months old and is the light of our lives. He brings us joy every. single. day. He brought happiness back into our lives after so much heartache and has been the light through some very dark days this past year. I will never forget the day that I found out that he was growing inside of me. I will never forget they day that I found out I was finally going to be a Mommy. And I will never forget seeing his tiny heart beating the very next day. He is truly our MIRACLE baby and our gift from God.
I love you with all my heart Samuel...
