Rylee Ray ♡

Written by Chelcey Moody

I gave birth to Rylee Ray on November 21st 2011. He was 3 weeks early but seemed as though he couldn't wait to get out and meet us. He weighed 6lbs 3oz, 18.5 inches long.

 Since he was suppose to be a scheduled c-section and they couldn't stop contractions we decided to go for it. He was so beautiful. Everything and more that imagined my baby boy to be. We immediately bonded and I couldn't help but fall more and more in love everyday with him. His big sister was soon attached too. She loved to help in every way. Daddy also loved his only son dearly. We were a happy family. The months started to go by and Rylee was nothing but happy, he was playful, loving, smiley, and an all around mommas boy. I couldn't get enough of my precious boy.

 He got on a sleeping schedule at only 3 months He was actually sleeping until 10 in the morning. We couldn't believe how amazing it was to have such an easy baby. On the morning of March 15th 2012 I got up and made my pot of coffee like I always do Their daddy had just got off a night shift at 5am so he was sound asleep. I waited for both of my children to wake up. It was about a quarter to ten am when my daughter awoke and wanted to play, I then waited to hear a peep out of Rylee. Nothing. I waited a total of a half an hour before I decided I should go wake him up myself. I was getting impatient and bored and wanted both of my kids up, since their daddy would be sleeping for quite a while.

 I walked to his bedroom and opened the door and quietly walked in, As soon as I reached the bed I saw him. He was blotched purple and blue, lifeless. I almost for a minute thought I was dreaming. What was I looking at? My heart sank farther then I had ever felt. I scooped up my dead son and I started to scream, no tears just helpless screams I held him close and I rocked my 4 month old limp son. Was this a cruel dream? Was this really happening. I had never felt so much pain, heartache all at once.

 I started yelling for his dad. I began to cry as I was still holding my son. When his dad came to the room he didn't understand why I was yelling and screaming. I told him to call 911. I stood over my son while his father tried desperately to give him CPR until the ambulance arrived I just stood there numb, His almost 2 year old sister stood there as well. She was quiet and she just looked at me with sad eyes. I knew he was gone the minute I saw him in the room but yet somehow a part of me thought he would magically awake if given some air.

 March 15th 2012 is the day I lost my son, apart of me and my peace of mind. I will never fully understand why we had to go through this, why someone so precious and happy had be taken from me. Rylee Ray would be 2 this year in November, and everyday I wish I could see him. Someday I have faith I will.

Rylee Ray- November 21st, 2011-March 15th, 2012