Give Me Patience

I got so upset with Samuel last night. It really wasn't his fault though. His first molar broke through on April 18th and then a second broke through this past Wednesday. On top of teething he's had an upset stomach for several days.

I know he's feeling my stress and sadness too because his behavior has changed a lot in the past week. He has started biting out of frustration. Sometimes I feel he is trying to "tell" me something but then he gets so upset that he will try biting me. He knows a lot of words now and can usually tell me what he wants and needs but for whatever reason he's decided not to use words. He just flips out when he wants something and expects me to know. I usually can calm him down enough and say to him "tell me what you want baby'" and he will. Maybe it's more an age thing but I feel like his world has been flipped and it's caused him to feel insecure in his own environment, if that makes sense?

I felt awful that I got so mad and upset with him last night that I decided we would do something for him today. He needs a break from it all too. Samuel had never seen me get that upset. I really scared him and I feel like a horrible mom now.

Shannon and I took Samuel to a children's museum this morning. BAD IDEA. We really had Samuel in mind but neither of us could do it. We were surrounded by babies, small children and pregnant mothers. It was just too hard. Too many people and both us were too anxious. We were there less than ten minutes and we had to leave. Samuel was so disappointed.

I guess it's baby steps for awhile. Maybe we are trying to get back into things too fast? I thought some family time would do us good but it didn't.

In a few weeks we are planning to go away somewhere but haven't decided where yet. Maybe getting away completely will help us as a family. It's so hard being around familiar people. We both so badly just want to HIDE but we can't. It's not fair to Samuel.

Where do we find balance to meet his needs and our needs? His needs will always come first but how do we push through this to make sure he remains happy and secure?

Where do we find patience and understanding?